First Time
by journaliar
Summary: The first time... CarlyxSam. Femslash. Read & review if you don't mind.
1. Chapter 1

The first time you ever kiss Sam its an accident and while it _is _by definition a kiss you doubt anyone but you would consider it as such if only because it was a painful mishap more than anything else that leaves you with a cut on your lip and Sam with a bruise on her mouth.

But for a whole week after you lick at the cut despite the sting and think about Sam's mouth on yours and ignore the fact that it happened when you were standing behind her at the breakfast bar, reading the iCarly message boards over her shoulder on the computer and when she turned her head to tell you something and you dipped your head to get a better look both moves culminated in a face to face collision that ended in blood but in your opinion was totally worth it.

You count it because there's lip to lip contact and it's Sam so you'll take what you can get.

You'll take what you can get because you _like_ Sam, you do, in the same breathless blushing way you use to like Jake Crandall before his singing turned you completely off.

It's like that except more.

And even though you're 14 you're not naïve about what liking another girl means, after all your aunt Sissy is a lesbian and despite being in the military your parents are surprisingly liberal and you get it. You do. But you still like her a lot but the difficult part is you doubt Sam knows because your Carly and you're nice and polite and boys like you and Sam, despite all of her excellent qualities, isn't the most observant person. You like her anyway.

The second time you kiss Sam she's crying and you're crying and there are purple bruises on her wrist and upper arms that you can't stop staring at through your tears as she tells you about the fight she and her mom had in a soft broken voice.

You're both tucked into the couch and your arms are wrapped around Sam's smaller frame and nobody knows about this part of Sam, about what she sometimes goes through, not even Freddy. It's the reason why Sam spends so much time at your house and one of the reason why you're so protective of her.

She shakes softly against you and when you lean in and press your lips against the wet tracks her tears leave its nothing like the millions of times you've imagined kissing her. Her skin is slick and salty and she doesn't say anything , just tilts her head into your lips and cries a little bit harder.

The third time you kiss Sam it's in your room.

"Sam, you still up?" You ask as walk into your bedroom fresh from the shower dragging a towel over your wet hair.

"You do know who you're talking to right?" Sam asks as you drop the towel on your desk chair acknowledging the fact that Sam is a night owl, making up for lost sleep in class the next day.

She's sitting cross-legged on the foot of your bed in her pajamas with a bowl of popcorn in her lap, which isn't all that odd considering all of the time Sam spends at your house. No, the odd thing is that Sam is wearing your pink bra, the one with little blue hearts, on the outside of her grey pajama tank top.

"What're you doing?" You squeak indignantly and Sam gives you that lazy gaze like she's _not _wearing your bra and gestures at the television.

"Tuesday Night Movie Madness." She says like you should already know and you do but she knows very well that's not what you're talking about.

"No, What're you wearing?!" You bark looking pointedly at the bra she's wearing ridiculously on the outside of her pajamas.

"Oh, this old thing?" She asks glancing down at her chest before shrugging. "I found it under your bed. You should really clean up under there because I think I saw something growing." Sam grins and you take a menacing step towards the bed but Sam doesn't flinch, just pops another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"Take it off, Sam." You growl and Sam shakes her head.

"Hi, I'm Carly Shay…" Sam begins in a absurdly high pitched voice that sounds nothing like you.

"That sounds nothing like me!" You cry and Sam just laughs and you're pretty sure she never sees you coming before you tackle her backwards on the bed.

You grin at the way Sam squeals and popcorn flies all around you and for a moment you two wrestle around on the bed until you have Sam's hands pinned over her head and you're stretched out over her form.

Beneath you Sam is panting and giggly with pink cheeks and her blonde hair spread out under her and you laugh breathlessly as you stare.

"Take it off." You laugh and the way Sam sort of squirms under you makes your insides twist in a way that's weird. Not bad, just strange.

"Why? By the way your boobs are way bigger than mine. With this thing I'll catch all the fellas." Sam laughs and you shake your head.

"You don't need my bra to get a guys attention." You say somewhat sincerely and Sam twists under you again in an attempt to get free and you shift your weight forward over her wrists.

"It can't hurt." Sam grunts lifting her hips and you're not expecting the way the movement makes your breath catch.

And you've gone through the whole sex ed classes and the extremely uncomfortable talk about the birds and the bees with Spencer which ended with him throwing up and in tears and you've done your own research and you know what that throbbing feeling between your legs is but you ignore it and shift your weight over Sam.

"Take it off." You request again and Sam just laughs, jerking against your hold and snapping her teeth playfully at your nose and you rear back slightly with a cry.

"Hey, no biting!" You shout over Sam's laughter.

"I have to do something! I can't let you just kick my butt like this. I've got a reputation to uphold." Sam smiles and you lean down to press your forehead to hers and watch as her grey eyes jump back and forth between your eyes, nose and mouth.

"Your eyes are like a mood ring." You whisper because they are, they way they change from blue to grey to green seemingly at will and you laugh softly as Sam crosses her eyes playfully before turning her head slightly left and then right and she laughs when you move with her making sure your foreheads stay in contact.

"You know what? You're eyes are like the bottom of a Hershey Kiss." Sam whispers and its not the most romantic or even flattering thing you've ever heard but it's Sam and she's saying it to you and before you can really stop yourself you're leaning down and kissing her. On the mouth.

And its nothing like the time you and Donnie Hutchinson kissed behind the school because Sam's lips aren't dry and sharp and her nose isn't huge and in the way and when your tongue touches hers the feeling shoots straight through you and Sam's mouth doesn't taste like a grilled cheese sandwich at all.

The kiss ends abruptly when Spencer yells 'Fire!' somewhere in the living room and you jump back quickly and fall promptly over the foot of the bed with a thud that sounds as painful as it should.

Sam leans over the bed in open mouth shocked and for a moment you and Sam just stare at one another until Spencer bursts into the room.

"There's a fire!" He screams right before he grabs Sam, hefting her over his shoulder, then grabs you like he's carrying a watermelon under his arm and all together you flee the apartment.

The first time Sam ever kisses _you _its in the handicapped stall of the 2nd floor girls bathroom which wouldn't be a problem except you guys are in the _bathroom_. At _school_. And even though you're in a stall anyone could walk in and catch you. And you should be voicing these concerns but its kinda difficult with Sam's hands on your neck and her tongue twisting in your mouth in a way that makes it hard to breathe. It makes you not want to breathe. But you do.

"Sam." You gasp softly pressing your hands to her cheeks as you pull back slightly and you watch her lick her lips and squeeze her eyes shut. "Sam." You whisper again because you guys haven't talked about the kiss in your room and you were under the impression that it was one of those things you'd never talk about again guessing from the way you and she can hardly be in the same room together. But she's kissing you here and now of all times and places and you need to know why.

"Why did you…?" Your question trails off aimlessly and you watch her take a slow shuddering breath before she speaks.

"Did Jake Crandall ask you out after third period?" She asks and her voice is tight like you've never heard it but you nod anyway because it's true, he did ask you out two hours ago in front of your locker. You'd told him you'd think about it so you wouldn't have to reject him in front of the crowd of people that gathered around you two. Besides you're so over the Jake Crandall thing

You wonder for a moment who told her and then it hits you that Freddie probably unknowingly told Sam in a jealous rage and here you are.

"I like you, okay." Sam whispers and this time her eyes are wide open when she speaks and you nod dumbly because Sam just said she liked you and its almost surreal. "Okay? So don't go out with him, alright?" And you nod again as she steps away in the small space.

You've never really been speechless before but right now you can't seem to find any words at all as you watch her adjust her backpack nervously before turning and reaching for the sliding lock on the stall door and disappearing .

During 5th period you tell Jake that you can't go out with him because you have to wash your hair.

The first time you ever think about Sam and sex together it feels like it comes out of the blue.

And its not like you don't think about Sam, think about kissing her and touching her but you've never really imagined specific things like touching her breast or sucking on the skin on the underside of her jaw or shoving your hand down her board shorts and touching her _there _but it seems to crash into you suddenly as you watch her eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while you, her and Freddie watch Cuddlefish perform on Seattle Beat.

You're sitting tucked into the corner of the couch with Sam sprawled across the rest of the sofa, her feet kicked up into your lap so that you guys make a kind of right angle while Freddie sits on the floor in front of the couch and this in itself isn't distracting.

The distracting part is the way that Sam's shirt is riding up leaving a strip of pale white skin between the hem of her shirt and the top of her shorts and it shouldn't be so distracting but it is. You want to touch her there and your fingers flex where they rest on her ankles but you don't touch.

"Cuddlefish is awesome." You hear Sam sigh and you tear your eyes away from the flat of her belly to look back at the screen.

"Yeah." Freddie agrees from the floor and you can't help but grin.

"Oh my god, it's a miracle. I can't believe you two just agreed on something." You laugh and you laugh a little bit harder at the totally offended sound Freddie makes.

"Well, then we can all agree that Freddie is a giant nerd bomb." Sam throws the insult lazily around a mouthful of sandwich and Freddie twists around angrily.

"And we can agree that Sam is a lazy slacker who will probably amount to nothing in life." Freddie hisses and Sam just shrugs.

"Alright." Sam grunts finishing her sandwich and Freddie just shakes his head and pushes himself off of the floor. He stretches and Sam whispers 'ew' when his stripped shirt rises and shows off his stomach.

"On that note. I gotta go study for my math test because if I don't pass my mom threatened to sign us up for couples swing dancing lessons." Freddie sighs and you wince because Freddie's mom is well…Freddie's mom.

"I'll see you guys later."

"Bye." You wave watching Freddie leave, the door shutting behind him before you turn back to Sam.

"Hey." You smile and it comes out a little more lascivious than you intend but Sam just grins back and digs the heel of her socked foot into your thigh.

"What's up Cupcake?" Sam asks and you two haven't talked about what happened in the school bathroom a week ago but she kissed you two days ago in the studio and its confusing.

Almost as confusing as the way your eyes keep falling on the fly of her pants.

"Nothing." you whisper but you're thoughts must be showing on your face because she gestures for you to come closer and the way you sort of clamber on top of her is not very lady like but with Sam you don't have to think about it.

Sam is half sitting up but mostly laying and you situate yourself between her legs and swallow at the way your body reacts.

"What're you thinking about Carly Shay?" She asks tapping your head lightly with a grin and you laugh.

"Stop that." You laugh shaking your head and beneath you Sam sort of turns away to look at the television again so your staring at the line of her jaw and her ear.

Later you're sure you won't even remember what possesses you to do it but you lean down and press your mouth to Sam's ear and its meant to be playful, it is, but your not expecting the chocked off sound Sam makes and the way she sort of bucks up against your weight when you suck on the lobe of her ear.

Sam's hands clutch at the small of your back and you do it again a lot less playful this time. Your teeth find the shell of her ear and the way she twists against and gasps makes your entire body _throb_.

"What're you doing." Sam hisses quietly turning her face towards you and you shrug slightly.

"I dunno. Did it hurt?" You ask and Sam shakes her head and you can't help but notice how hard she's breathing beneath you. You can't help but touch the now reddened rim of her ear proudly.

"No, not really." Sam whispers and you kind of grin and kiss her. And you and Sam have never really 'made out' like on television and the movies and you're ten minutes into slipping your tongue past Sam's teeth before you realize that is what you guys are doing. You're making out with Sam.

Sam's breathing is soft and shallow and she kisses a little clumsy in a way that makes you press your fingertips to her jaw in support and it's all heady and addictive.

You're not expecting Sam's hands on the bare skin of your back and you jump a little at the contact and she immediately stops.

"It's okay." You murmur pulling away a little and Sam licks her lips with a nod but doesn't put her hands back under your shirt. "It's okay." you sigh again and this time you press your lips to her throat and feel Sam smile, a tentative hand coming up to tangle in your hair.

"What're you doing?" Sam whispers and you make a noncommittal noise in your throat right before you decide to paint a hickey on the curve of Sam's jaw. You use your teeth and suck hard at the soft skin and beneath you Sam whimpers softly and sort of rocks her hips into yours and its so hot you can't focus.

"Geez." Sam breathes quietly and when you finally pull away you examine the purpling mark proudly.

"Well would ya look at that." You raise your eyebrows smugly but your expression falters at the look on Sam's face. Its foreign and intense and before you can say anything there's a rattle of Spencer's key in the door even though the door isn't locked and you and Sam jump apart quickly, Sam's hand flying to the mark on her neck.

"Sam! Carly! Look!" Spencer cries bursting into the apartment and it takes you a moment to realize he's talking about the shopping bag in his arms that looks like its full of…

"Are those super balls?" You ask squeezing your thighs together absently against the throbbing low in your stomach.

"Yes, Carly. Yes they are."

The first time you and Sam ever do more than just kiss it starts with homework. More specifically you not being done with yours while Sam, who isn't quite the slacker she'd like everyone to believe she is, is in fact finished and is currently tossing paper balls at you from where she is sprawled hanging upside down on the bed.

"Ow." you breathe frowning at your math as another paper ball bounces off the side of your head and lands beside the twelve others by you where you sit cross legged on the floor.

"Carly, c'mon! This is boring. Let's go to the Groovy Smoothie. I'll let you buy me a smoothie." Sam sing songs and when you glare at her she gives you an upside down grin.

"No Sam, I've gotta finish this." And before you even complete the sentence your hit in the neck with another piece of paper.

"Why don't you go get smoothies with Freddie?" You suggest and you don't even look up when Sam groans dramatically. "Or you can wait patiently until I finish this work."

"Fine!" Sam cries and for a few minutes there's silence and no more flying projectiles. You're not sure how long you frown down at your text book but when you finally finish, shutting your book, Sam is watching quietly.

"What?" You ask self consciously and Sam just gives you one more look over and shrugs.

"Nothing." She says folding her arms under her head and you stare back at her for a second which is a little weird because she's still hanging upside down.

"If you keep hanging like that all the blood is gonna rush to your head." You inform as you stand, walking around the bed to grab Sam's ankles and yank her flat on the bed before laying down on your back beside her.

"And that would be bad?" Sam yawns and you close your eyes and smile.

"Yeah, that would be bad." You whisper and you don't open your eyes when you hear Sam move, the mattress giving with her weight and you feel her shift closer right before her lips press against your jaw.

"I thought you wanted to go to Groovy Smoothie." You mumble but you completely loose your train of thought because Sam leans over you and kisses you full on the mouth and spreads her hand against the flat of your stomach.

Her touch is hot even through your tee shirt and you're kissing her back eagerly, pushing her onto her back before stretching out on top of her.

"You always have to be on top?" Sam asks against your lips and you smile pulling back to sit on your knees.

"I like it up here." You laugh and it's true while you don't mind Sam being on you you would much rather be the one pinning her under you.

Sam just laughs as you grab her shins and sort of use them to hike her legs up around her waist.

"I should've known you're a power monger." Sam grins brushing her bangs out of her eyes and for a second you just look at her, at your best friend, at Sam.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth? An eye booger?" She asks in that charming way that only belongs to Sam and you're shaking your head when you kiss her again.

You're not expecting her to flip you over onto her back and so when she does you squeak as your back hit's the mattress and she straddles your waist triumphantly.

"You're sneaky." You whisper and Sam just shrugs and toys with the hem of your shirt.

"It's one of my best qualities."

"Agreed" you laugh but it comes out weak and breathless because Sam's hands are on your stomach again but this time they're slipping up under your layered tank tops.

Sam kisses you again slow and careful and you can't focus because her right hand is curling around your breast and when her fingertips nudge under the edge of your bra you stop kissing all together and squeeze your eyes closed.

"You're soft." Sam whispers quietly and you nod breathlessly as you feel your nipple tighten against her palm. And Sam's nervous touch feels good, it makes your stomach tighten and when she brushes a thumb over your nipple it makes your back arch away from the bed and having Sam touch you is nothing like touching yourself.

You lean up to kiss her again and but Sam pulls away with a grin and a giggle and leaves you completely bereft.

"Sam, what?!" You gasp dumbly, propping yourself up on your elbows as Sam quickly pulls on her sneakers, not bothering to even loosen the laces.

"C'mon Cupcake." Sam smiles, raising her eyebrows and you don't mean to seem so…dumbfounded but your staring at her at disbelief and your jaw in your lap.

"But we…you…where are we going?" You manage to spit out as you straighten your shirt and bra.

"Groovy smoothie, duh." Sam laughs dragging the back of her hand over her lips quickly. "You know for a kid with straight A's you're not that smart."

"But, Sam." You begin pleading and trying to focus past the throbbing between your thighs.

"C'mon, Carly, I'm gonna go get Freddie." She says and then she's opening your bedroom door and bouncing out.

You watch her go, running a hand through your dark hair and you can't help but think that for all of Sam's awesome attributes her hyperactivity and her love of food is sort of a problem sometimes.

The first time you ever tell Spencer about you and Sam it's an accident and you don't really tell him that Sam is the person you're talking about when he asks about your new "crush" but you don't lie either.

"So do I know who it is?" Spencer asks and you lick your lips and watch him pour way too much salt into the pasta sauce he's cooking.

"Yes, you do." You say calmly and swing your legs idly as you sit on the counter top rolling a tomato between your hands.

"Oh yeah…wait its not Freddie is it?" Spencer asks suspiciously and you shake your head with a smile.

"No it's not Freddie."

"Well, whoever it is it seems like you like them a lot since you're hiding them from me…Is it David Irons on the 12th floor?" Spencer asks before he tastes his sauce from the wooden spoon he uses to stir it with and promptly spits it out.

"Salty?"

"No, hot…and salty." Spencer sputters wiping at his mouth.

"I do and , no its not that crater face David Irons." You say tasting the sauce and wincing .

"Well whoever it is, I'll like them 'cause you like them. You know that right, Carls?" Spencer asks and you really do love your brother.

"I know."

"Awesome. So…"

"Chinese food?"

"Yeah definitely."


	2. Chapter 2

The first time Sam ever tells you she loves you its on your 15th birthday.

The silly glasses party Spencer threw you is loud and hectic just like most things associated with your brother but here, in the stairwell of your building, the music is muffled by the cement walls surrounding you.

You and Sam sit side by side on the top step and you watch amused, as Sam roots around in her jean pockets, then the pockets of her hoodie, pulling out sticks of gum, crumpled five dollar bills, her mp3 player and her cell phone, none of which seem to be what she's looking for but she's doing it while she's wearing those ridiculous glasses with the fake nose, mustache and eyebrows on them and you can't help but smile.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Sam." You laugh and Sam just shrugs as she finally pulls whatever she was looking for out of her pocket.

"I wanted to get you something. It's not everyday you turn the big 1-5. Now close your eyes and open your hand." Sam grins and you look at her suspiciously.

"Are you gonna make me hold something alive?" You ask and Sam rolls her eyes, yanking off her disguise glasses.

"No."

"Is it something dead?" And you can never be too careful around Sam.

"Oh, I did that one time. Now c'mon, close your eyes and open your hand." Sam urges leaning over to nudge you with her shoulder and you can't help the way your mouth curls upwards as you do as she tells you.

You open your eyes and smile at the charm bracelet Sam dropped into your palm. The bracelet is silver with four little charms hanging from it. And you understand the meaning of the small shiny computer and heart but you'll have to ask what the little pig and the helicopter are for later but instead you turn and hug Sam.

"Thanks Sam, I love it."

"Aw, you're not gonna get all gushy are you?" she asks hugging you back and you shake your head at her while you hold out your wrist.

"Put it on for me?" You asks and after a few tries Sam gets the bracelet on your wrists.

"There. Promise you wont take it off?" Sam asks softly and she's the one that's getting all gushy but you say nothing as she takes your hand and twines your fingers together.

"Never. Ever." You whisper just before Sam leans in and kisses you softly on the lips. She pulls away and you lick your lips and smile.

"You taste like root beer." You whisper leaning in to kiss her again and Sam laughs into your mouth before pulling away and standing.

"Its my chapstick. Now, c'mon lets get you back to your birthday bash." Sam says giving you a hand and you take it and let her pull you to your feet.

You're half way back to your apartment with your hand in Sam's when she turns and kisses you quickly one last time and whispers

"I love you, Carls. Happy Birthday." And then she's tugging you to the apartment behind her and you follow her with warm cheeks and a pounding heart.

* * *

"So are you going to the winter dance this Friday?" Freddie asks from behind his laptop, taking a nonchalant sip from his juice pouch and you smile knowingly from the bean bag beside him in the studio.

"Yeah, I guess." You answer and beside you Freddie makes an audible gulping noise.

"Oh yeah, me too. So what would you maybe think of you and I went to the dance together?" He asks with a crack in his voice and he watches you with earnest hopeful eyes so you just say…

"Yes, sure."

"What?!"

"I said, yes, Freddie. I'll go with you." You laugh until Freddie jumps up, hurriedly stuffing his laptop into its carrier before grabbing his backpack.

"What're you doing?" you ask utterly confused and frankly a little frightened.

"I'm leaving. I have to get out of here in case you change your mind." He huffs and you watch him hightail it out of the studio as Sam meanders in.

"What's he so excited about? Did his mom get him new tagless underwear?" Sam asks pulling her earphones from her ears and jamming her mp3 player into her pocket.

"I told Freddie I would go to the winter formal with him." You say as you stand and toss the bean bag chairs out of the middle of the studio floor and your expecting a smart remark or some kind of jab at Freddie but there's only silence and it makes you turn around cautiously.

The first time you finally agree to go out with Freddie is also the first time Sam is ever mad at you.

"What? Why would you do that?" Sam asks and you open your mouth with every intention of speaking but Sam is looking at you with glassy hurt eyes that make your stomach drop to your feet and leave you speechless.

"I-I don't know why your upset? It's just Freddie." You manage weakly and your confused and scared because Sam's never been mad at you. She's never looked at you like this, like you've broken her heart and oh God, maybe you did.

"I thought we could go together." She says and you swallow once, then again, and you feel like the worlds biggest nub because it hadn't even occurred to you that Sam would want to go with you to the dance. She hates dances.

"But you hate dances." You blurt and Sam sort of flinches.

"But I know you like to go to them. I wanted to take you." Sam whispers and your heart joins your stomach at your feet.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell the dweeb he's not taking you to the dance." And you wish it were that simple but Freddie's your friend and you already told him that you would go with him and you can't do that to him, as much as you want to make Sam stop looking at you like that.

"I can't. I can't do that to Freddie." You whisper

" Fine. I hope you and Fredward have a great time and don't forget to invite me to the wedding." Sam spits and anger flares up inside of you instantly.

"You didn't ask me, Sam and you can't be mad at me for not being able to read your mind. I don't have ESP!" You yell and of course that sets off a whole screaming match between you and Sam that ends with her storming out of the studio and with you locked in your room hoarse from screaming and crying.

* * *

You miss Sam. You miss her a lot and you're miserable because she won't talk to you unless it has something to do with the web show.

And your hurt and tempted to give in and apologize to Sam but Freddie is your friend too and he's so excited so instead of calling Sam, you buy a dress that matches Freddie's suit and on Friday you go with him to the dance.

Freddie spends the night nervous and sweating and doing the robot but you have fun and at the end of the night you kiss him on the cheek before you disappear into your apartment.

It's after 11pm when you finish showering and get into bed and then you can only think about Sam. You wonder what she's been doing with her time since she hasn't been spending it with you, wonder what she did tonight, what she's doing right now. You clutch your phone in your hand under your pillow and contemplate calling her but think better of it and instead you turn off your bedside lamp and try to sleep.

You wake up hours later to the sound of your bedroom door shutting quietly and then locking and there's a scream halfway out of your throat before Sam's hand covers your mouth and she clambers on top of you with wide eyes.

"Shut up." She hisses at you and you nod once, waiting for her to pull her hand away before you speak.

"How did you get in here?" You whisper pushing yourself up on your elbows as you peer up at her through the darkness.

"I have my ways, Carly Shay." She sort of laughs before sitting forward so she's staring into your eyes. "I'm sorry." She blurts out and you can tell that's not what she meant to say because she looks away with an eye roll. "That's not how that was supposed come out."

You laugh and its mostly with relief and you haven't felt this good in a week.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't know…" You whisper and Sam shrugs sitting back so she's resting on your thighs.

"It's okay, Cupcake." She whispers and you can't help but lean up and kiss her. She kisses you back eagerly before pulling away with a smile.

"I missed that."

"Me too."

You curl into Sam's warmth when she stretches out beside you on the bed.

"I missed you." She whispers quietly and you press your face into the soft full curls of her hair and inhale.

"I missed you too."

* * *

You wake up with blonde hair in your face which isn't such a strange occurrence when Sam stays the night in your bed. It's early in the morning and a glance at your bedside clock reveals its only 4am. It's a mission to untangle your limbs from Sam's and you think about going back to sleep but instead you find yourself looking at Sam. Sam who is wearing a white tank top, pajama pants and strangely enough just one sneaker.

You're smiling when you untie and yank off her other shoe then both of her socks and you laugh when you see her purple toe nails.

"Whaddareyadoing?" Sam mumbles nearly incoherently and you climb on top of her.

"Your toenails are painted. How lady like." You laugh and Sam winces, covering her eyes with her hand.

"Say anything to anyone and die." And the threat is said with a laugh so it loses some of its menace.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that you paint your toenails." You giggle and Sam makes a growling sound in the back of her throat that makes you lean down and kiss her.

You kiss her hard and slow, pushing your tongue into her mouth and Sam's the only person that you've ever really kissed like this and you wonder if you're a good kisser. You figure you can't be that bad because Sam is pulling you down on top of her and hooking her legs around yours and the way she's kissing you back makes you dizzy and clutch at the pillow beneath her head.

You don't realize that your pushing your hips into Sam's, grinding against her, until you feel heat, white and blinding, low in your stomach and then you focus on that feeling.

You focus on making Sam feel that feeling too and you pull out of her kiss to move against her and listen to the soft 'Uhn' sound she makes when you get the motion just right and soon you have the hang of it so she's making the sound over and over while your mattress thuds faintly against the wall.

Sam stutters out your name brokenly before she arches into you like she's pushing you away but her hands are keeping you against her and she trembles against you.

The first time you give Sam and orgasm you're fantastically proud of yourself.

* * *

After that you do research because they don't teach lesbian sex 101 at your school so you look it up online. You type 'lesbian sex' into the search engine and learn things that you didn't need to know and things you definitely did and after your sure to clear the history on the internet browser.

"I thought you said we were doing homework." Sam whispers into your mouth and you nod, touching your tongue to her bottom lip quickly.

"I lied." you laugh pulling back to twist Sam out of her sweatshirt.

"I get the whole lying thing but why are we in your closet?" Sam asks, her voice muffled by her sweatshirt before you whip it free.

"The lock on my door is broken. Spencer needed some kind of mechanism out of it so here we are…" you explain distractedly while you unzip your own hoodie.

Sam kisses you again and you both stumble backwards into a rack of your clothes with a crash.

"Ow." You mutter before you reach down to grip the hem of her tank top.

"Whoa, what're you doing?" Sam asks looking down at your hands then back into your eyes.

"I-I…do you want me to stop?" You asks nervously and Sam licks her lips thoughtfully before blinking once, hard.

"No. No." Sam whispers and then she raises her arms and lets you pull the tank top off so she's standing in just a grey bra.

You swallow hard and you pull your own shirt off too and for a moment you just look at her and her skin has light freckles and her breast are small and perfect.

You kiss her again and she puts her hands on your waist tentatively like she's afraid you'll burn her hands.

"I want to do stuff…to you." You whisper and a blush burns in your face and Sam looks unsure but then she takes a deep breath and smiles.

"Can I do stuff to you?" She asks and you hadn't really thought about it but you grin and shrug touching her stomach with just your fingertips.

"Yeah. Sure."

You kiss again and you fumble with the clasp on her bra and Sam doesn't take a breath until you finish and then she lets you pull the bra from her arms before covering her breast with her hands while you take off your own bra.

Sam looks as nervous as you feel but her eyes are focused on your chest and you blush again as you cove your own breast with your hands.

"On the count of three?" Sam whispers with an arched eyebrow.

"Okay. One. Two. Three." You breathe and you both drop your hands and you try not to look but you do.

"You're so pretty, Sam." You whisper and she is, she's one of the most beautiful people you've ever met.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Carls." Sam jokes nervously and you smile reassuringly.

"Can I touch you?" You ask and you hadn't notice how the space between you had grown in the small closet.

Sam only nods, dropping her hands when you get closer and you do the same, reaching out to run your fingers up the flat of her stomach and the bottom curve of her breast. When you drag your thumb across her nipple she inhales sharply.

"Am I hurting you?" You asks and Sam shakes her head, blinking hard.

"No. The opposite." Sam sighs and she reaches back to quickly undo her long hair.

You kiss her again she's nervous and your nervous but kissing is something you guys both get. You keep touching Sam's chest, feeling her with your whole trembling hand and she kisses you back distractedly and then she's touching you and you nearly bite off her tongue.

"I'm sorry." You breathe and Sam just smiles before kissing you again and her fingers curl around your breasts.

"Lie down with me." You request and you both go to the carpeted floor and you stretch out over her. According to the internet, you're a top.

"Can I kiss yours?" Sam asks quietly and you can't find words so you just nod and Sam pushes you over onto your back and then she's half lying on top of you pressing your lips to your breast. And your body is throbbing and excited and you hook your legs around her waist and press up against her to make it stop.

"Geez." You swallow and Sam looks up at you expectantly. "Feels good." You murmur in response and she nods.

And then Sam is unbuttoning you Capri pants, leaning back to tug them down and off and then she's sliding her hand down the front of you underwear and you could've sworn this wasn't apart of your plan.

She touches you and you don't mean to cry out but you do and she shushes you quietly.

"Are you okay?" She asks quietly and you nod dumbly and then she's stroking through your wetness. Suddenly her fingers catch on something that makes you squeak and shut your eyes against the pleasure and you remember the internet and something about the clitoris. And Sam slides her finger over the same spot over and over until your hips are rising and your fisting the carpet underneath you and trying to breathe.

Then it hits you that you're not the only one that's been doing research because Sam is watching you like she realizes that all her hard work is finally paying off.

Its becoming too much and you clutch at Sam's wrist, holding her still while instead you buck against her touch and it's like everything inside of you snaps and explodes and you cry out softly.

It feels like you can't breathe, that you'll never stop pressing against Sam until finally you come back to yourself with a gasp.

"Whoa." Sam whispers in awe.

"Yeah." you whisper kissing her quickly and you're glad she's your first.


	3. Chapter 3

The first time you ever really tell Spencer about you and Sam you're nervous and guilty and so scared that you just blurt it out in a jumbled, run on mess. You tell him because you and Spencer don't hide things from each other.

"What?" Spencer asks not turning away from the giant tuba he's sculpting out of Swiss cheese.

You take a deep slow breath and fight the urge to just run away or dig a hole in the middle of the living room to fall through and disappear. Instead you take a step closer to Spencer.

"Sam is the person I like. She is my girlfriend." you whisper, careful to keep each word separate. Spencer turns around carefully and from the look on his face you can't help but think that you're slower, more enunciated confession isn't much more help than the first.

"Sam is your girlfriend?" Spencer asks and you nod once and try to blink away the tears burning in the corners of your eyes already. "Do you mean like your 'girlfriend'?" And Spencer says 'Girlfriend' in a high pitched valley girl voice and you shake your head once.

"She and I…" You begin but trail off to wipe angrily at the tears escaping your eyes and you don't know why you're crying but all of a sudden you are and then Spencer is pulling you into his chest and he smells like cheese and fabric softener.

You tell him everything and you apologize for not telling him earlier and for feeling this way and its like every fear you have comes pouring out of you and he just shushes you and tells you how much he loves you, how much your family loves you , no matter what.

It feels like forever later when your sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest and your head tucked under Spencer's chin, his arm heavy around your shoulder.

"You could've done worse." Spencer says and its hard to hear over the cottony buzz in your ears from crying but you lick at your chapped lips and smile.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean except for the procrastination, blatant disrespect for authority, violence, petty theft and abuse Sam is a good kid." and Spencer is so sincere that you can't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry." you sigh and Spencer shakes his head and presses his lips to your hair.

"Don't be, kiddo. Everything's going to be fine, nothings going to change. Well, maybe, Sam can't stay spend the night anymore." Spencer whispers and you nod and shut your eyes.

Later, when Spencer tells your parents, it goes surprisingly well and they talk to you over the phone as you cry and they tell you they love you and that everything is okay and you can't remember a time when you wished they were home more than this one.

You tell your grandfather and he doesn't take it half as well.

He comes up to visit on a long weekend and you tell him over spaghetti tacos . He immediately blames Spencer, calls him a hippie, a failure, tells him that he isn't prepared to handle raising a young girl and threatens to take you to Yakima and to that Spencer yells like you've never heard before.

Spencer sends you to your room but you can still hear them screaming through the vents until the door slams and then there's only silence.

A few minutes later Spencer's footsteps are audible just outside your closed door and you get into bed, beneath the blankets and pretend to be asleep when he knocks softly on your door before quietly letting himself in.

Spencer drops heavily on the mattress beside you and you tilt into him with the shift of the bed, listening to his exhausted sigh.

"I'm sorry." You mumble and it's muffled by the blankets covering your head but Spencer just rubs your back.

"Stop apologizing, alright?" He says pulling the blankets off of your face.

"Am I moving to Yakima?" You ask nervously and Spencer sighs again, scratching his head.

"No. Not if I have anything to do with it."

"Does Grandad hate me?" You asks and Spencer just shakes his head and he seems so tired. And you remember the things your Grandad had said to him, the things he called Spencer and it makes you hate your Grandfather for it.

"You? No, never. Me? Maybe. But don't worry about it, okay?" Spencer stands slowly, wiping his hands on his jeans before he gives you a pat on the had, messing up your hair. "Get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Spencer" You whisper as he walks to the door and he turns around and smiles.

"Goodnight, Carly."

* * *

"How long are you gonna be gone?" Freddie's voice is soft and you try to smile even though you feel like crying, like screaming, like running away.

"Two weeks. My grandfather put me on independent study so I can keep up with my school work. He says he just wants me to spend some time with him." You whisper leaning fingering the table mats on the table in front of you.

"And you're sure you're coming back?" Freddie asks for the billionth time and you laugh and nod.

"I'm coming back, Freddie." And Freddie just watches you.

You glance at Sam sitting across from you and she doesn't look up, just twists her glass of ice tea in aimless circles on the table.

"What about the show?" Freddie asks drawing your attention back and you just shrug.

"On hiatus, I guess."

"Until you come back?"

"Yeah."

"And you're definitely coming back?"

"Yes, Freddie!"

"Are you sure?" And it's the first words that Sam has really said since you told them that, while you're not moving to Yakima, your grandfather is forcing you to spend two weeks there for what he says is your own good. You told Freddie it was because he wanted to spend time with you but you told Sam the truth. All of it.

She hates your Grandad and for the first time you might actually feel the same way.

"I'm absolutely positive." You whisper holding Sam's eyes until she looks away, fiddling with the lemon slice on the rim of her glass.

You all look as Spencer enters the apartment, standing in the doorway of the front door.

"Granddad's waiting for you downstairs." he says quietly. "All your stuff is in the car."

"Thanks." You croak pushing yourself up from the table and Freddie and Sam both follow you up and to the living room. "Spencer, Freddie, can I meet you at the car? I want to talk to Sam."

Spencer gives you an understanding look before ushering a reluctant Freddie out of the door and shutting it behind them.

The door clicks shut and you peer at Sam until she tears her eyes away from the floor and looks at you with glassy eyes.

"I hope you know that for the next two weeks I'm gonna have to hang out with Freddie." She whispers and you laugh through the tears burning your eyes.

"Yeah. I know, but try not to kill him, okay?" You ask. "And try to stay out of trouble until I get back."

"No promises." She whispers and that's really all you can ask from Sam.

She takes a few steps closer to you, closing the distance between you and her and when she swallows you can see her throat working.

"Two weeks. Then I'm coming back. Only two weeks." You try to reassure but you can tell she's not convinced.

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"Ankle shake on it?" She asks and you grin. You do the intricate handshake, sure to shake ankles at the end and as soon as you finish you kiss Sam.

Hard and on the mouth and the tears you've been holding in burst free. She kisses you back, touching her tongue to yours and God, you don't want to leave. Even temporarily.

Sam pulls back slightly, so that her nose touches yours and you focus on breathing through the tears.

"Tell your grandpa that I hate his stupid face, okay?" Sam whispers and the laugh that bursts from your chest almost hurts.

"Okay. I will."

When you get outside the building you hug Freddie tightly and Spencer kisses you on your forehead before pulling you into a hug too.

"See ya soon, Kiddo."

"Spencer, make sure he doesn't make me stay, okay?" You ask desperately into the collar of his shirt and Spencer hangs on a little tighter.

* * *

The two weeks you're in Yakima are the longest, most boring days of your life. You're Grandad doesn't have cable and only lets you talk on the phone for 30 minutes a night. So when you finally, finally, come home words can't describe how relieved you are.

And of course Spencer throws you a surprise welcome home party and when you walk into the apartment you're scared half to death by people dressed inexplicably as cowboys and Indians.

As soon as you walk through the door and recover from the shock you're nearly tackled by Freddie who's dressed as an Indian.

"You came back!" He cries and you laugh and try to pry him from where he's clinging to your waist.

"I told you I would." You grunt and just when your about to give up on the idea of being a separate entity from Freddie, Sam walks up to you.

She's dressed as cowboy and you don't realize that you're grinning stupidly at her until she arches a lazy eyebrow at you.

"Looks like you got a problem, little lady." She says in an awful western drawl even going so far as to tip her hat at you and you just shake your head in amusement.

"Yeah, kind of sort of." you laugh and then Sam gets to work prying Freddie off of you . When she finally gets you free, she and Freddie stumble backwards.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay. I'm just glad you're back." Freddie explains straightening his Indian head dress.

"Me too." Sam beams and then suddenly Spencer is there, setting an Indian head dress on your head.

"There you go, now lets party!"

You spend most of the night sneaking glances at Sam through the crowds of people.

The party goes on for hours and by the time its over you are exhausted and you should be in bed but you're not. Instead you are sitting on the floor between the coffee table and the couch watching Sam sleep in her stars pajamas.

Spencer says that Sam can't sleep in your room anymore but she can still stay over as long as she stays on the couch. It's one of his new rules that he made for you and Sam.

It's nearly dark in the living room except for the dim light in the hallway and the television, which is playing Girly Cow and you look over your shoulder watching for a moment before using the remote to turn off the T.V.

"I was watching that." Sam mutters tiredly and you laugh softly watching Sam stretch out on her stomach like a cat.

"Your eyes aren't even open." You inform reaching out to touch her hair, twining a lock around your fingers.

"But I was listening to it."

"Okay." you concede scooting closer to the couch.

"Why aren't you upstairs. Asleep?" Sam exhales, opening her eyes and you shrug and continue to touch her hair.

"I just can't." You sigh and you watch her blink at you tiredly before closing her eyes again. "Come upstairs." and the way Sam's eyes pop open is comical.

"Who are you and what've you done with Carly Shay?"

"Sam, c'mon."

"No, I can't. Spencer's rules…" She hisses trailing off and you shrug.

"Since when do you care about rules?" You dare and she pushes up on her elbows to stare at you with wide eyes, the dimness blowing her pupils wide open.

"Since when do you break rules?" She asks. "Oh my God, what did they do to you in Yakima?"

"They took me away from you." You respond and for a moment Sam just stares at you.

"That was cheesy."

"I know but did it work?"

"Yeah, it did." Sam says reluctantly, sitting up and you grin cheekily as you take her hand and lead her quietly upstairs.

As soon as the door shuts you two fumble on to the bed and wrestle each other out of your clothes.

"Geez, what're you doing." And Sam almost sounds like she's in pain but you know that can't be right, not with your hand, damp and sticky between her thighs and your mouth pressed against the hollow of her hip. You've heard how good this is supposed to be for girls, heard it from the older girls at school in the bathrooms and heard about it on T.V. and you want to do this for Sam. Unless she doesn't want it.

"Well, I'm gonna…you know…with my mouth." You whisper peering up at her and out of the corner of your eye you can see her hand fist the sheets beneath her.

"Carly, I don't…" She trails off looking down at you and you push yourself up so you hover over her.

"You don't want me to?" You ask lowering yourself on top of her and you swallow at the feel of her skin.

"It's not…I just…Do you want to?" She asks and Sam blinks up at you through her bangs.

"For you, yeah." You answer truthfully and you don't bother trying to keep the nervousness out of your voice. "If you don't like it, I'll stop, okay?"

"Okay then, I guess." Sam whispers quietly, dragging a hand through your hair and you grin at her before kissing her slow and deep.

You kiss her until she's arching up against you and breathing your name into your mouth and then you slide down, kissing her neck and breasts.

And you've decided that you like breasts, you like Sam's breasts, because they're soft and smooth and when you kiss them Sam makes the best sound in the back of her throat.

You kiss down her stomach, stopping only when you get to the crease of her thigh and her hand finds the back of your head and the way she clutches at your hair makes you groan in a good way.

You ease her legs apart and you Sam takes a deep slow breath.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Sam asks and when you look up at her, she's watching you and she looks terrified.

"No. Not really." You answer truthfully and Sam lets out a short strained laugh.

And then you're looking at Sam, seeing her, and you try to remember what the web page said about oral sex. It's all about the rhythm.

"You're all slippery." You whisper and you touch her lightly, running your finger over her and she takes a shuddering breath.

"Yeah, they said that's what would happen in health class and its not like this is foreign terrain." Sam says breathlessly while you slide your middle finger inside of her and feel her muscles clutch at you gently.

"Yeah, Yeah." You say dismissively before you lean in and put your mouth against her.

You move your tongue in long, even strokes and it doesn't take long before Sam is bucking up against your mouth and gripping your hair and God.

She's breathing like she's hyperventilating and moving against your mouth and the combination makes you twist your hips against the sheets.

Then suddenly its like something cracks and gives then Sam's shuddering above you, trying desperately to draw a breath, as you wipe your mouth on the back of your hand.

You feel a smile curl your lips as you clamber on top of her and Sam smiles back.

"That was awesome." You laugh and Sam pushes you over onto your side so you two lay face to face. "I want to do that to you all the time."

Sam just shakes her head before leaning in to kiss you and when she pushes her hand between your legs, you tuck your leg up against her side.

"Hey." She grins at you like she doesn't have her hand between your legs and you grin back.

"Hi."

And the first time you ever break one of Spencer's rules, its totally worth it.

* * *

"Maybe you should tell your mom, you know, about us." You say around a mouthful of melon and across the kitchen table Sam sort of shrugs and uses her melon baller to carve out a perfectly circular piece of honeydew.

"I don't think so." She says and you look at her curiously.

"Why not?"

"Carls, your family and my family are different. Okay? Your family is awesome, except for you jank Grandad,"

"Sam" You admonish quickly.

"Sorry. It's just that my family is…well they're different." Sam explains meeting your eyes briefly before popping another piece of melon in her mouth and it must not be a good ball because she makes a bitter face.

And as you watch Sam spit honeydew into her hand you think for the first time that maybe Sam's family won't be as accepting as yours.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all of the reviews. I really appreciate all of the positive reviews for my first iCarly story. This is the end of the story and I hope everyone enjoyed it.

* * *

The first time Freddie realizes what's going on with you and Sam he mostly figures it out himself.

"How'd you know?" You question quietly sitting on the floor of the mostly empty hallway with the cool metal of the lockers at your back and Freddie warm against your side.

"It's was the little things. The way you looked at her even when she's doing the most disgusting things. The way she tries to do anything you ask her. I mean, you guys have always been close but it just changed." Freddie sort of laughs, fiddling with the zipper on his back pack where it sits in his lap and you feel bad.

It had been your decision to wait to tell Freddie because you wanted to break it to him gently. You'd planned on telling him. You did.

"I'm sorry for not telling you." you whisper tilting your head back into the locker with a metallic thunk and Freddie shrugs and doesn't meet your eyes.

"I'm sure it would be hard to just tell someone that." Freddie says slowly like he's trying to understand and be a good friend and he is.

"Yeah."

"So does, like, everyone know?" Freddie asks and you shake your head.

"No. Just my family and you." You admit and Freddie turns to glance at you.

"Sam's mom doesn't know?" He asks and you shake your head with a weak laugh.

"Nope."

There's a swollen beat of silence and then Freddie is sort of chuckling to himself and you give him a curious look.

"What?" You grin, his laughter contagious.

"So I guess this is why you've always rebuked my attempts to court you, huh." Freddie smiles at you and you just nod.

"Yeah, that's it."

* * *

"How am I supposed to hide this from my mom?" Sam asks yanking down the collar of her shirt unnecessarily because the hickey you left on her neck is high enough to be seen without assistance.

"Wear a turtleneck?" You suggest helpfully and Sam turns away from the mirror over your bureau to glare at you.

"It's the middle of summer." Sam says and you smile back completely unapologetic and truthfully the purpling mark on Sam's neck makes you a little pompous.

"Wear your hair down?" You suggest again and this time Sam turns all the way around.

"Only if I wear my hair as a scarf." Sam groans touching the mark at the front of her throat.

"How about make up?" You propose and Sam shakes her head.

"There isn't enough make up in the world to conceal this." Sam laughs and you watch her drop onto the bed beside you, falling back on the mattress dramatically.

"It's shaped like Oklahoma." You laugh and Sam just covers her eyes and groans.

"My mom is going to kill me because you have vampire like tendencies."

"Will your mom really be that mad?" You ask peering down at Sam and she nods, uncovering her eyes to look up at you.

"You know my mom is psycho."

"Well, what would happened if you told her about us?" you asks tentatively and Sam rolls her eyes.

"She'd go berserk. Probably kill me."

And she says it so easily that your heart leaps up into your throat.

"By kill do you mean get angry and ground you but let you continue breathing?" you asks hopefully and Sam just sits up suddenly, almost knocking foreheads with you.

"Lets just say, I don't plan on telling her anytime soon if I can help it." Sam grumbles and you want to push the subject further but before you can even form the next question Sam is standing and rubbing the mark on her neck absently. "Lets go get something to eat. I'm starving."

And you know a subject change when you hear one so you let Sam drag you to your feet. "But you just ate like two hours ago." you complain and Sam looks at you like you're crazy.

"I'm lucky to still be alive."

* * *

"So maybe if you talk to your mom about it she won't even think it's so bad." You whisper suddenly and Sam looks at you quickly from her spot on the floor in front of the couch before glancing back at the television.

"What're you talking about?" She asks confused and you shift on the couch above her, studying the golden strands of her hair.

"Telling your mom about us." You say and Sam rolls her eyes and you know your frustrating her because you've brought this subject up about a thousand times in the last couple of days but you feel as though you should be able to _be _with Sam without having to hide anything from anyone.

"Look, Carly, I love that you're all out and proud but you saw what happened with your grandfather. That's how my mom would be except like a trillion times worse." She explains raising an eyebrow at you and you nod.

"And you're okay with us being together and no one knowing?" You ask because you don't see how she could be.

"It's better than the alternative, isn't it?" She says, her forehead scrunching up and you can't argue with that.

"Yeah. You're right." You sigh stretching out on the couch and Sam studies you over her shoulder and you track her eyes flickering over your mouth, your chest and then your mouth again before she just turns around and continues to watch TV like she didn't just check you out. And that look is enough to make your insides warm.

"I like when you do that." You whisper fingering a curl of Sam's hair.

"Do what?"

"When you look at me like that." You clarify and Sam raises her eyebrows playfully.

"Like you're crazy?" Sam asks and you laugh but shake your head.

"Like you wish we were alone." you whisper and Sam grins widely at you before turning back to the television.

"That's because usually I do."

* * *

"I'll do it if you want me to." You close your locker door to reveal Sam and you must look bewildered because she clarifies. "My mom, I'll tell my mom if you want me to."

Sam shifts her back pack on her shoulder while she watches you expectantly.

"I-I don't…It's your decision Sam. It's your choice." You say carefully and Sam hitches up her back pack again.

"But it would make you happy? If I did that?" She asks and you shrug a little.

"I mean, of course, but if you don't want to you don't have to."

"Okay." Sam smiles at you and then her eyes flick over your shoulder and you turn to see Gibby bending over to tie his shoes.

"I must go give Gibby a wedgie. It's like he's asking for it." Sam mutters, her face lighting up and with that she brushes past you and you turn away from the wedgie process. Your stomach can't handle seeing another Texas wedgie.

* * *

"You don't have to." You whisper and Sam gives you a smile that's all phony bravado and you know that she's nervous. "You don't."

"But you said…" She begins peering up at you where you stand at the top of the steps outside of the iCarly studio.

"I know what I said, Sam." you whisper. "But if you don't want to do this. If you just want to keep things the way they are I'm okay with it."

And its so weird that your telling her this even though earlier you were the one pushing her to tell her mom but now…you're not sure.

"Don't worry, Carls." Sam says with a small smile but you can't help it. "I'll call you after?"

"Yeah okay." You reply watching as she turns and walks out down the rest of the stairs.

* * *

It hours later and Sam still hasn't called.

You're trying not to panic but its after 2 in the morning and you're imagining the worst case scenario of Sam telling her crazy mom about you guys and it makes your stomach hurt.

So you call Sam's phone for what very may be the hundredth time and she doesn't answer and your heart crawls further into your throat.

God this was a bad idea.

You decide to just go over to Sam's house even though it's the middle of the night and you're downstairs looking for your right shoe under the sofa when there's the soft, distinct sound of the lock being picked.

Relief floods you at the sound and you turn to greet Sam only to stop short.

"Oh my God." you croak and you stare at her blackened eye and split lip.

"I told her." Sam whispers and her eyes are so red that you figure that she must've been crying for hours.

"She did this?" You ask, so angry, even though you know the answer.

"I didn't tell her it was you." Sam croaks and you step closer to her, noticing how she backs away a little.

"What?"

"I just told her that I liked a girl and she hit me. That lady really missed her calling in boxing." And the way Sam sort of laughs scares you.

"Sam." You try and she shakes her head quickly.

"She asked me if it was you and I told her it wasn't." She whispers touching her fingertips to her discolored eye.

"She can't do this. I'll talk to Spencer. Call the police." you blurt because Sam's mom cannot just _abuse _Sam like this. She's her mother, she should be taking care of her.

"No!" Sam cries suddenly. "She's my mom, Carly."

And you blink at her because God, how can she protect that woman.

"You need to put some ice on your eye." You blurt and you run to the kitchen, getting an ice pack before coming back and pressing it to Sam's eye.

"Sorry." You whisper when she winces but she just shakes her head.

"I love you, Carly." Sam whispers suddenly and she's staring at you with the eye not covered by the blue ice pack and there's something in that look that makes your stomach lurch _hard_ but then she's leaning in and kissing you deep and overwhelming until you have to pull back and breathe.

"I love you too." You respond honestly but then Sam is stepping back, away from you and the ice pack and towards the door. Too close for your liking.

"Sam?" You breathe and she swallows hard like its painful, her eyes dropping to the ground.

"I think we should…" She begins and you can tell just from the sound of her voice, the way she won't look at you, what she's about to say. You don't want to hear it.

"No." You cry, "We're not breaking up."

"I think maybe we should just be friends." Sam chokes out suddenly, looking up at you and she's crying and you're crying and you've never had your heart ripped out but you're sure this is what it feels like.

"Sam." You sob but she's walking away from you, through the door.

You watch her go with the ice pack freezing your fingers and for the first time your heart is broken.

THE END...


End file.
